Isn't it funny?

Hey, isn't it funny when someone asks you to describe a person, you can pretty much sum them up in a couple of words.

There's the obvious physical distinguishing characters, fat or thin, short or tall, hairy or greasy etc etc... Then there's a dash of the attitude, bitchy or nice, loud or quiet, funny or dull etc etc. Of course we add in status for a little spice, rich or poor, lives in this area or that, drives this or that, wears those or these etc etc. And summing it all up nicely with their groups, goth or prep, freaks or geeks, bimbos or brains etc etc...

Etc etc

It's not that I'm saying it's a bad thing, it's often just things we notice that help us distinguish between people, no harm just observations... But when does it stop being an identifier and starts being a cage...a stereotype...a stock character system in which everyone fits a certain profile?? `Do we really realize what we say, how we say it and most importantly why we say it?

I only mention this because I've met a lot of teenagers recently living with severe anorexia; male and female. I found when sharing my hospital experiences with a close nursing friend that I had to explain to her the patients she may encounter in future practice, how I approached them, what interventions we gave and generally what they were like... Of course, I started with the most logical approach, the physical, what their age was, gender, their body structure, alterations to their function... moods, psychological influences, significant trauma history etc. Obviously I gave no real identifying information... but all of them I could easily sum up in two sentences... a lot of repetition was involved as I went down the list of six. They shared common traits, showed similar histories, presented with almost identical symptoms and in some ways were almost indistinguishable in character...

An common example, (the following is in no way related to any alive or dead person, any similarities are pure coincidence, etc etc) Leisha: Is a 14year-old girl, she's tiny for her age, vomits often, has stopped eating, exercises vigorously, behavioral issues, family history of depression/suicide/eating disorders/mental health issues but very intelligent albeit manipulative and exhibits no will to get better. This is what we see, this is it...this girls 14 years of life, summed up in one paragraph...this would generally be the whole handover for an eating disorders patient to new nurses starting a shift, they all seem to know the drill without knowing that specific patient, it's likely no more will be said...unless they 'act up' of course.

Many a times I have not only heard other health professionals use the terms "the anorexics", "Anos", "ED kids" or "the skinnies" but have in fact have used them myself when referring to them. I have not meant it in a harmful or vindictive way...it unfortunately became a common saying, a norm of sorts...in which there was no shock at the mention of it... almost acceptable in a way. Not harmful because it was a common occurrence. Of course every nurse knew it was unprofessional and often tried not to say it but would be out with the slip-of-the-tongue.

They are just an example I'm using, there are many times throughout my clinical experiences where I have seen this and even became a part of it... I've seen it with minorities such as Maori or Pacific Islanders, even around Pakeha in NZ...all assumptions based on what I believe and have experienced...

It is not about how we think but how we perceive! Perception is taking in a stimulus and applying personal factors such as previous experiences, knowledge, mainstream opinions and emotions until it warps into the shape we want it to...with this we evaluate situations...cultures ...families...people. We see a PI family and assume their family is large and may in fact live together or very closely and although that may be true and based on a wide variety of research we will perceive what WE know...and with that as a guide we fit people in to boxes, categories and titles.

Even in using the word 'they' I am placing them in a group I believe share similar characteristics and habits. It is as if human beings cannot not function or thrive without placing people into these categories...almost like a survival tool... a guide to assessing your situation in respect to others. Like I said before, it is not bad or good... it almost just appears necessary in a way; but with this we must tread lightly.

Do not be swept forward blindly in life, question what is normal, as that is, more often than not, the way that needs to be questioned the most!

CHRISTCHURCH AS A GOAL

I don't know where you all are reading from... but recently we, New Zealand, have had a tragic day.

In the city of Christchurch we have had an earthquake with repercussions that will last years, not months or weeks...many have died and many injured. And the most chilling of all, many are still missing.

It's been surreal, a situation that I can easily distance myself due to the actual physical distance of the city... but NZ is a small country, a country that feels everything that happens to each of its cities... even each of its population.

In short, I WANT TO GO DOWN THERE! I WANT TO HELP! I WANT TO HAVE THE SKILLS TO HELP THOSE PEOPLE. It's a deep emotional pull that I can't control, down to my very core it screams at me to take action and get my ass down there to help.

It is a goal. Stories of Doctors and Nurses and Paramedics just walking off the street and pitching in on street triage centers, is something that creates great envy. If I had a genie right now, I would wish that I had all the knowledge I needed to help these injured (assuming I couldn't wish the earthquake never happened)... It is an out of reach image to me, to be able to fly down and assist medically there. Nurses from my hospital have been assembled and prepare to fly down to help this city... experienced emergency staff.

Perhaps if I had been there, which I do wish, I would have been able to help someone...even with my limited knowledge and experience... Just giving someone some clothes, or food or helping to dig... it is an out of reach situation that rips at my heart...

To see the scenes of people spray painting symbols onto cars and in front of houses to say whether they are clear of people or how many bodies they believe are in there, is the most chilling thing I have scene to date.

I want to be prepared, I want to have the knowledge, the skills and I want a plan to get me to where I'm needed...it hurts not to be able to physically help.

Christchurch is my goal

My Summer Job

Well I'm guessing this is slightly obvious at a first glance at the title and it's not a trick topic; this is just about the job I had over summer.

Well, mainly about my summer job;

To a lesser degree, about the skills that I've learnt;

Largely, the insights I've gained;

And probably a lot of bad things about me will come to light.

No one's perfect, and I'm a good example of that one person that was made from a broken mold... or something like that. I warn you that some of the following posts will make me look like a ridiculously horrible person, even negligent or perhaps inhuman at times; but this is how it happened and no matter how much I try I can't change things now. Not that I'm all bad that is.

So here's the background. I worked in a rest home that is home to many residents, in my wing there were approximately 30 seniors that all required different levels of care, which is to be expected, as all people are different. I was personally in charge of about 15 but only had to assist with actual cares on about 10 residents, no real biggy in terms of workload in rest-homes. There were 2 caregivers and 1 senior caregiver who did the medications, I did evening shifts so there were no other staff except for cooks and hospital staff at the other end of the building. The home I worked in I found pleasant and rustic, full of eagerly helpful staff, activities and good feelings, on the surface it was a resthome far surpassing ones I had previously seen and even delving below the surface, it was still one of the good ones. That's about all you'll need, to follow my stories.

It's not so much about castrating myself, or giving voice for the understaffed and often unappreciated health workers or even a form of redemption. This is one tool, to allow me to do all I can do now, which is to reflect.

The Prologue

Well, this is where it's all going to start. I guess everything needs a beginning in order to have a following middle and a foreseeable end.

Well I really don't know where my beginning was, could it have been right now, probably not but still important though. It could have been when I started my nursing degree or even when I made the decision to do nursing or when I spent hours playing doctor with my toys and my pets as a child.

But in all honestly I guess, there never really was a beginning, or at least not one that I can definitively see, but instead a series of events that steered me onto this path. All I can see are those small snapshots of foreshadowing that allow me to create an answer to the question, "Why nursing?"

And just between you and me, the answer changes every time. ;)